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03:35pm 31/01/2013
  Apparently all Canadians are french.....

Client: "All you french girls sound the same!"
Me: "Um, I'm not french..."
Client: "Well, you're Canadian aren't you?"
"Listening Skills"   
04:14pm 26/11/2012

Me: If you don't provide me a fax number or e-mail address you will just get the permit number over the phone and your permit will be mailed out to you.

Client: Can't I just get my permit number over the phone and have my permit mailed to me or something?


Listening Skills; You're doing it wrong.
11:05am 22/03/2012
mood: amused

Client: I need a permit
Me: Okay what type of permit do you need
Client: Um for on the highway
Me: Over dimensional permit, Licensing permit or...?
Client: Regular permit


.... I like how people think its "Just a permit"
Honestly... there are thousands of different types of permits
Building permits
House moving permits
Registration permits
Temporary license plate permits
Over Weight
You need a permit to do street performance

But no, she just wants a REGULAR permit!

(Another genius today)

Me: This permit can cost between 80 and 180
Client: 80 THOUSAND!?!


I'm thinking like, yes, the cost of this permit is going to be four times as much the cost of your truck!!!
Dumb ass.


WOW... just wow!
Another smart one today.
This client was an American:

Me: Hello Permit office
Client: Is this Canada?
Me: This is *My Province*
Client: .... *confused* uh, okay well I need to know, what city is Kenoshia.
Me: Um....
Client: It says Kenosha, WI
Me: ....That's in Wisconsin....
Client: *REALLY CONFUSED* Oh...... huh?

Like..... is it really that hard to have all the states abbreviations memorized?
I know ALL of the Provinces abbreviations and most of the states... you would think someone FROM the states would have some sort of knowledge of her own country.
Writer's Block: Meow vs. Arf   
10:50am 19/03/2012
Cats or dogs-- which do you prefer, and why?

I prefer cats.
They are clean, cute and don't require as much constant attention as dogs.
Not saying that dogs are not cute, but... they do like to roll around in their own, and other dogs, piss and shit.... and anything else that smells bad...
Cats <3

P.S. I do have a dog.
Writer's Block: Bookmarks    
12:24pm 13/03/2012
What is the last great book you read?

A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson
I could probably update every day   
05:46pm 30/01/2012
mood: *sigh*
Me: "In summer, fall and winter you are allowed 27,000kg on your trailer"
Client: "So what am I allowed in summer?"
03:35pm 27/01/2012
mood: Dizzy
I was just so frustrated by two phone calls in a row, from crazy clients, that I got dizzy! Now I just feel sick and light headed.
09:01am 26/01/2012
Me: So in the left hand corner of your browser there should be the option tools.
Him: What is a browser?
Me: You are in a browser.
Him: No.
Me: Yes.
Him: What is a browser?
Me: It is what you use to surf the internet... if you are looking at a web page you are in a browser.

09:34am 13/01/2012
mood: blank
Me: That error means you have a pop up blocker on. Are you using Internet Explorer?
Client: No, I don't use any pop up blockers.
Me: Internet Explorer would be your internet browser. What internet browser are you using?
Client: Uhmmm Microsoft Office Outlook.
Me: That would be your email.....
Writer's Block: Friday the 13th   
08:31am 13/01/2012
Do you believe in any superstitions?

Not at all.
11:45am 09/01/2012
mood: annoyed
Me: "No you won't be able to do that, it would be illegal."
Client: "Well how much is the fine if I do it anyway?"
Obviously these people make too much money to give a shit about the law
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04:48pm 06/01/2012
  If one more person says:

"Oh Mah GAWD yer pink hair matches yer pink coffee mug/ boots/some random pink thing in the room!!"

I am going to try my darnedest to be snippy!
"Oh really?! when I had brown hair no one noticed that my hair and shoes matched that one time."

Three in one.   
08:56am 02/01/2012
mood: curious
Me "The phone number to call is 866 -***-****"
Client "8 2 6 6 ..."
Me "No ... 866-***-****"
Client "Oh okay, is that a 780 number?"
Me "No... that is an 866 number"
That happens way more than one would like to admit.

Really good example of how clients will just saying yes to everything you ask:

him "I sent in payment for a permit renewal last week"
me "You mailed in a cheque?"
him "Yeah"
me "Or did you fax in the renewal notice with a credit card number?"
him "Oh yeah that's it"
me "Okay what is your last years permit number so I can look up your new permit for you"
him "Oh she gave me the new number over the phone"
Me "... So you CALLED in and renewed it over the phone then?"
him "Oh yeah sorry I was confused"

This sort of thing happens all the time too:
him "I need a permit"
me "What type of permit do you need?"
him "They just told me I needed a permit"
me "Well... are you plated in *******?"
him "Yes"
me "Hmm... Ok, do you need a permit for being overweight or over dimensional?"
him "I dont know they just told me I need a permit"
me "But what KIND of permit do you need?"
him "I dont know I work for *************** and I apparently
need a permit"
me "Are you heavy on an axle, or hauling a load that is
over legal dimensions?"
him "No my trailer is small"
me "... Ok who told you that you needed a permit?"
him "My foreman"
me: "Well maybe you should call him and find out what kind of permit
you need because there is no way I can tell you what you need since I
can not see the load and I dont know any of the weights OR information."
I have never been able to figure this out when it happens.
In my head this is how the convo might as well have gone:
Person: "Hi can I get a pizza please"
Pizza place: "Sure what kind do you want?"
Person "I don't know"
Pizza place: "Then why the hell did you call me?!"
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Basic keyboard usage   
09:54am 28/12/2011
mood: amused
Client: "I am pressing the ? button but all I am getting is a little hat."
Me: *thinking she must have said SLASH not hat* "You have to press the shift key first."
Client: "Well I am pressing the shift key, hmmm this has happened to me before I can't remember how to fix it"
Me: "You are holding the shift down key while pressing the ? button?"
Client: "Yes... hmmmmm the ? is under the 6 key right?"
Me: "No... it is just to the left of the shift key"

There isn't even a picture of a ? on the 6 key, I don't understand why anyone would think it was the ? button! I'm just amused that it has happened to her before and she could not remember what she did wrong last time.
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Writer's Block: Bah Humbug Day!   
10:10am 21/12/2011
Take a deep breath. Now rant about something.

I'm quite unhappy that my mother in law got back together with her alcoholic boyfriend and will be bringing him to our house for Christmas. This man is completely disrespectful to my husband and I, which my MIL knows, and I think it is absolutely unreasonable for my her to expect us to be hospitable to this piece of shit ever year! It would be different if we were invited to her house of course, but this is at our house.

He is an alcoholic, refuses to work, and treats everyone like they are FAR below him. MIL realizes this, breaks up with him, few months later thinks “he has changed” and takes him back. This same cycle has been going on for FIVE years and she has “left him” at LEAST 4 times! They just got back together a month or so ago and my husband and I are devastated.

A few years before we got married we lived my MIL and her boyfriend. Actually we lived there and THEN he moved in. The arrangement was, we lived there, we pay rent and MIL and BF work away on the rigs. She continued to work on the rigs when he moved in and he instantly didn’t have a job. We paid rent, he didn’t (yet acted like he owned the place), we worked every day, and he got drunk every day. He would constantly insult me when my husband was not around or he would drink with my husband and insult my husband once he was drunk enough not to realize the insults. We got fed up and decided we were going to move out. My MIL calls us trying to make excuses for the man "He only drinks because he is so lonely, you guys need to be his friend and hang out with him so he can stop drinking!"
Okay two 20 year olds NEED to be friends with a man in his 40's or else he will verbally abuse us? WTF kind of logic is that?!

I could go into this much more but I wont. All I have to say is I am very glad that they were not together during our wedding last year... and I am NOT looking forward to seeing that asshole on my doorstep on Saturday.
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Writer's Block: White air   
07:12pm 18/12/2011
Is it snowing where you are right now?

Yes it is.
Writer's Block: Black Friday   
12:06pm 25/11/2011

What's the last thing you bought?
What's the last thing you bought?
Writer's Block: Just stop, already!   
01:00pm 04/10/2011
What’s your biggest pet peeve?

Having something thrown at me.
Writer's Block: Riddle me this   
03:05pm 24/09/2011
What is something that just doesn't make sense to you?

Work wtf   
11:54am 06/09/2011
mood: crazy

I had a client today that wanted to know if he could get a permit to allow a "Car Carrier" to get more height than what is supposed to be legal. Long story short I end up asking him when his car carrier was built

Me: When was the car carrier built?

Him: What?

Me: When was the carrier built?

Him: The company?

Me: No. The carrier, the CAR carrier.

Him: Caracareer?

Me: (WTF?)The CAR CARRIER. The stinger steer trailer, CAR CARRIER that you are asking about.

wtf.. he specifically called it a car carrier at the beginning of the conversation so how come he had no idea what I was talking about!?

Reminds me of a time where I asked a client how he would like his PERMIT sent to him and he said "My what? PERMAX?"
What? What the heck do you think I'm talking about?